Thoughts in the morning

Tick tock… Tick tock…

The only sound that seems to be most perceived right now is the droning ticking of the wall clock in close proximity to my medium sized bed. And the continuing hum of the passing vehicles just blocks from the apartment. Also, the gentle tapping sound my keyboard makes as I sluggishly type this entry. Almost like a lullaby to my ears.

My head is in tremendous almost intoxicating reluctance to sleep. I am very sleepy, and perhaps need to sleep. But I don’t want to yet. I have been reading something, things from one of my favorite writers who I should mention; I never bothered to look up the name of. I was intensely engrossed in her stories that I hadn’t notice the time flew by. Her method of writing is just so very true and appealing to me, and I reckon it would be just grand if I could write like her. Or even be close. She sort of comes across as somewhat similar to me, in a far-flung calculated way. *laughs*

Her way of candourly relating things that had happened to her, and it greatly rivets readers like me. It is such an amazing talent, the one she has. Having the facility to write as beautifully and candidly, to me, it is a very rare and special gift. One I would love to have, and possibly would if I had enough practice. I believe in myself a great deal. If I wont, nobody would. Just like her, she has this great sense of perspection. She has this incredible ability to take you to the places, with the people she’s been with, and the things she did, her gripping misadventures, through her literature. The way she drills the images of what she saw on your head and her thoughts on the matter on her prose. I mostly appreciate how she was able to extricate her emotions and transform it to words, and those feelings emanate to those who read it. And the way she concludes each topic, leaving you pensive whether it were true or not. She is awesome. I admire that so much.

- - - -

Again, I was in front of the computer the remainder of the afternoon. Chatting. (and answering trivias)

I made a friend yesterday. His identity, I shall not reveal. He told me a secret, two. One was `he is not really a girl. I had thought he was, seeing his nick and because he previously said so too. He even asked me of my friendster and I unwittingly gave him my email address, confident of his femininity. (I am simply gullible.) The other one was, he is in love with somebody.

Knowing myself, and how I cant dispel any reliable, tried and tested advice due to my inexperience on the discussed topic. I was hesitant to say anything. However, he pressed on and accounted the adversity he was stuck in. The girl he was simply mad about is in love with somebody else. So, he is disinclined to woo her. And, almost as an afterthought but also of immense concern, he believed the guy liked her back. But it is not official yet.

`Start to make her notice you. (I said out of impulse.)
`How can I do that when she is also busy trying to make the other guy notice her?

There was a part of me that wanted to tell him to forget and let it go. It is easier to find another love, than to change a heart that already loves and is loved back. How to say that without breaking his poor heart was the hitch. I asked,

`Does she know that you feel that way about her?
`I haven’t told her. I fear that if she knew, it might affect our friendship.

And I thought, it certainly would.
I did not have much to say thereafter.
If you were in the same situation?
Would you rather tell, and risk rejection?
Or stay mum, and still hurt yourself?

--oOo--