Clear and nice

After the rather ambiguous entry below, I’ve thought about writing something that would be a little more clear to the typical readers. Because my friend told me how simply unreadable my posts were and my readers might lose interest in the first few sentences if they cant relate to what I am talking about. So, here I go.

*Thinks of what to write for over an hour* HAHAHA,

Today I’ve tried being a bitch online. Just for the kicks of it, after all… its only 6 days from now and I will stop chatting in there… like, for a long time. Because of personal reasons. *giggles*

Yeah, as expected not many chatters liked it. Well, really, who would?
Uhm… I would. *lol*

I strangely am fond of bitches and badass people who go online and trash talks everybody. I mean, that takes guts man. To flout every written rule about the channel in the presence of the operators who must be extremely psyched to kick or ban or do whatever they have to do, to anyone who even comes close to breaking one rule. And the difficulty of getting their attention, or getting them to respect you, or just amiably talk to you, its like a prize. Because rarely do they become friendly to anyone… and having gotten their trust would somehow instill a sense of confidence in you. Confidence that you see in them. Oh, yeah the wayward in me.

Anyways,

Yep. I’ve transformed into a bitch today and I barked at every single unassuming chatter whose nick happened to catch my eye. What I don’t like though is… when I come across a chatter who would not know how to properly respond back without sounding stupid. It just makes me feel all guilty about behaving badly.

There was this one person that told me to `seduce him cause I was such an interesting little creature to him. Methinks he is one of those hurt-me-oh-please-spank-me-good-cause-I-love-it types of guy, in short, he liked hard-to-get snobbish and thinks-they’re-all-that women who’d boss him around till he cries for his momma. He wanted me to be as arrogant as I could be cause it turned him on. So I did pretend to be that egotistical conceit and well, for I do like a good verbal interlude I uhm, said a few nasty words. Then some guy came along, ruining it all for me, taking me out of my character, or rather tearing me out.

He said;
`Suddenly I feel quite cold.

In layman’s terms, he thought I was being too proud. The idiom had to do with uhm, the weather.

That meant I played the part rather convincingly. *laughs*

So yeah, when he said that… I was shocked. Because he usually is nice to me though I haven’t spoken to him on pm yet, well… what do I expect right? *lol* But still, he could just have not said anything. I think it was because I did not want him to see and think of me that way that made it seem so wrong on my part. Hmm, or I just cant really be completely bitchy.

I just don’t like it when people think of me as arrogant, boastful, egotistical or anything that would make them assume that I think I am better than them. Because I am not like that, I am a simple person with simplistic ideologies and an even simplistic life. Though that is temporary *lol* the simplistic life and ideologies bit.
I suppose, yes, I am a snob at times, but it depends on my mood and the preceding circumstances that put me to my mood. One thing I don’t like about myself is that, how I cant stand people not liking me. Not liking me as a pretend and the real me. Because it makes me even more detest the social fad that I so badly want to get into but cant seem to. Because I so awfully need a consent that they like what I did for me to continue it. For that would make me think I am doing something right, or cool for the matter. But if by doing that I cross the line and hurt some one who has been nothing but nice to me, it does not make me feel good at all, in any way. Reason why I am mostly nice, at least I think I am nice, to people for I cant bear the thought of hurting somebody or making them angry with me. I remember there was this guy, I talked with way back, he told everybody how he was duped by an ex girlfriend cause she showed him fake pictures of her, then they broke up because of that. Yet later that ex girlfriend of his came back to him telling him how Very sorry she was for lying to him and she felt extremely Guilty. Then he said, `that is why I just choose to be nice to people, eventhough they are not nice back, because if they hurt you and they know that you did nothing wrong, they will be the ones to feel guilty. Obviously, he is right. So, let us all be nice, okay?

Though sometimes I tend to be a domineering, opinionated, and a wanna-be alpha female. But besides that, I am completely… harmless. *evil grin*

I want to write more about this but I have no time, I still have to sleep.
Night.

--oOo--